Me

Here's a little information about me that you may or may not know. I tend to get "depressed", in most cases I don't mean chemical depression, I just mean "blue". Something happens where I am sad, doesn't even have to be a big event, just a bad day or even a bad moment, and I tend to get wrapped up in it. I let it pull me down. I will mope around and feel sorry for myself, and have the "Eeyore syndrome". After Sage was born I did have self diagnaoses chemical depression. It lasted months and months, I couldn't break free from it. I didn't feel like me...... But most of the time that's not the kind of feeling I get.

Fast forward to last night. I really had a great day. I went to MOPS yesterday morning and had a great time. My kids were in a good mood all day. I got some cleaning done, cooked the girls dinner, watched a little DVR TV (which I don't do often), really just a good day. But last night when the kids were all in bed and it was just me, I got sad. I missed Nick, I was lonely, and I let myself be dragged down by that. That poor pitifull me attitude. So I feel back on my old stand by........food. I made cookie dough at ate it. I'm not proud of that, and now it makes me mad at myself, but that's what I did.

So today I woke up and gave myself a talking to. :) I have been doing great on my weight loss and running. I am 25lbs below my pre-pregnany weight with Capri, and although I am on a plateu right now (I think due to the starting of my running program), I am really doing well. I am eatting healthier, and making good choices. I have pretty much kicked my soda addiction. I do on occasion still drink it but it's almost always diet (I know that's not great either, but I take it one step at a time). I am drinking a ton more water. I am doing my running program 3 times a week, and usually 2 other days in the week I am doing some kind of walking (like my playdate where I get to walk at the lake with a mommy friend). So I am really doing well. So why did I let myself get pulled down last night? I think it's because I forgot who I was doing this all for. I am not working this hard for other people. I am doing this for me. Which means that even in my lonelyness I need to remember myself. I am losing weight and getting healthy again because I want to, not because I have to. I forget that sometimes. So even though today I have cookie dough in my fridge I am not going to eat it (I will probably cook the cookies and make them a little hard because I don't like crisp cookies but my kids do) :) I am going to go run today, or do some kind of other exercise (depends on if I can get someone to watch the kids). I am going to remember why I am doing all of this. And I'm not going to beat myself up over yesterday.

Today is a new day!